Tag Archives: commute

1st Month Down

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I’m now nearing the end of my first month living in St. Pete and it’s been quite a delight. As I’ve said before, my now 15-min commute makes my old 60-min+ commute seem so very long ago. It’s almost like it never happened.

But it did. A slight PTSD-shiver will run through my body when I have to get on the interstate (to go 11 miles as opposed to 62). The last few weeks of that hellish commute were probably the worst. Three Fridays in a row, it took me nearly 2 hours to get home. TWO HOURS. The last day of the week, you’re fatigued and ready to drink, then your commute home happens. Worst feeling ever.

But now, I get home and I’m like, wow, there’s literally ANYTHING to do right now! And I have the energy and time to do it! I can go to yoga after I walk the dog, or I can nap, or I can continue my binge Law & Order: SVU watching on hulu, or work out in the gym, or…ANYTHING I WANT, I CAN DO. I can cook whatever and whenever I want (even though cooking for one is still a bitch), and feel satisfied at the end of the night when it’s time to go to bed.

We moved Timmy into his new place in Lake Mary last weekend, and it’s pretty awesome. It’s a 2.5 hour drive between us, which isn’t a bad drive every other weekend when you consider that it was a usual commuting day for us before. It’s a huge place where he now owns a big-boy bed complete with a headboard and footboard, as well as a power mattress that moves. Like in hospital beds. Because he’s an old man at nearly 31 years old.

He got the idea from our good friend Jake, who also owns the same type of mattress. Timmy and Jake had a good time spending the day in bed together a few months ago, in a very “I wish we could express our love for each other without people thinking that we’re gay even though we kinda are” way. Those two are so cute in their man-love for each other.

Surprisingly, I’ve found this January, unlike other Januaries, that I’ve been happier than I expected to be. Normally, this month kinda blows. You know it does. It’s that month that comes after all the holiday cheer and family/friend love and then you’re separated from all the happiness and back to work. You inevitably start comparing your life to others, thinking that this year, you’ll match up to others. You’ll become that “new you” you’ve always dreamed about in the new year.

But with all that comparing comes feeling like crap about your own life. Why can’t you get to where you want to go? Why am I here, again, another year gone, and I’ve really changed nothing?

But for me, none of that happened this month. I made the decision to move and I did. I made the decision to re-dedicate myself to our relationship, and I have. I compare my life to no one’s because that’s not fair. No one else has gone through what I’ve gone through the last year in the way that I went through it.

I’m 30 and no closer to marriage or babies or buying a house, even though the majority of my friends have reached one or all of those steps. But I’m closer to my partner. I’m closer to my goals. I’m happy. Truly and honestly, this is where I dreamed of being in my life at 30.

A year went by and I survived. I survived disconnection from my life in Atlanta. I survived commuting. I survived living in a town that sucked. I survived my relationship and the downward spiral it took. And even though personally 2013 was blech, everything else about last year was incredible.

This year is going to be even better. And I have the positive, not-hating-myself-and-life January almost behind me to prove it.

♥, VB

P.S. And to all my fellow Southerners who got caught in Snowmageddon ’14, particularly in Atlanta, mega props to you if you were stuck in your car for any amount of time trying to pick up kids, get home, get anywhere. I can’t even imagine. I only wished I could’ve been out there helping others in person rather than praying from afar.

P.P.S. If you’re friends with me on FB, you already saw this, but if you’re not, my mom is one badass mothaf*%a.

badass mom

High Five for Friday

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Welcome to Friday everyone! I got the idea for a “High Five for Friday” post from one of my favorite bloggers, Kate at The Small Things Blog. Today marks the end of my first full work week in my new place. Here are the 5 best things from my week:

1. I drive 15 minutes, to and from work. I’ll repeat that: I DRIVE 15 MINUTES TO WORK NOW. After a year of 60+ plus miles each way to the crapvilla known as Lakeland, I can tell you for sure that I’m a changed person. It’s only been one week, but man do I feel like myself again, instead of that crabby monster-she-devil that was posing as me for the last year.

2. I was a single mommy to Floyd this week, and while he wasn’t the greatest house guest (he woke me up multiple times over multiple nights because he had to go out and had diarrhea), it was such an amazing feeling to be able to drive home over lunch, walk him or play ball with him, then drive back to work, all under an hour.

With a rescue dog, we’ve understood for some time now that his anxiety is part of the package, and I’m sure that without Timmy this week, his head was crazytown. The pooping aside, lunch hours are awesome when you live close to work.

3. I’ve been able to cook meals at home now instead of having only Jenny Craig. Jenny Craig was kind of a necessity last year because I arrived home so late and didn’t have the time or energy to cook. And I love cooking, so not being able to cook for months on end just killed me.

I was able to make spaghetti last week, turkey breast taco salad, and salmon with brussel sprouts. Did I mention that I love living closer to work??

4. I haven’t had to fill my gas tank this week. I did last weekend after driving to Lakeland and back since Timmy’s still there while he looks for a place in Orlando. Before, I was filling up twice every week, which equaled around $400-$500 a month in gas alone. God, I’m overdosing on living closer to work.

5. I’m actually jonesing to see my honey. I know that for most of you, you’re thinking, “Aren’t you always? Why would this make her top 5 list?” And the answer would be no, I wasn’t always.

Not to sound like a bitch, but last year sucked, and many times, I wanted to be far away from Lakeland because I felt like I was going insane. Now that I have my own place, I feel more centered and just plain old happier. I get to do things on my own time, on my schedule, I get to decorate how I want, buy and not buy what I want. It’s like the greatest sense of contained freedom.

Now that I’m feeling more like myself, I’m itching to see Timmy. It feels like how it did before, when we had to do shack packs when we spent the night at each other’s places. When we both had our own spaces, we could live as we wanted, and seeing each other was special and something we looked forward to.

Now when we FaceTime, I’m excited to see his face, I’m ready to hear about his day, and I’m prepared to be a partner. That’s an amazing feeling, let me tell you.

Clearly, my first work week with my new commute has been kick-ass awesome. I’m nicer, I’m more relaxed, and I’ve recently become re-obsessed with Law & Order: SVU on Hulu (I had a moment during college, but I kicked the habit until recently).

That Mariska Hargitay is one strikingly beautiful woman. I’d like to thank her for keeping me company this week.

Hope you enjoy the weekend!

♥, VB

One Year Later

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Today marks my one year anniversary of moving to Florida for a new life, new job, new future. 6 months ago, things weren’t great. In fact, they totally sucked. Not my job, mind you. My job has kicked ass from the beginning, and this semester promises no different. But everything else was baaaaaaad.

Let’s see, what has changed in these last 6 months? It seems like everything. We’ve swung from one direction to another, and although Timmy and I aren’t fully completely back on track like years past, we are absolutely 100% more committed and more united than we ever could have been without this move. We took a much needed trip that reminded us of the fun we once had together. We had conversations that seemed sometimes like they were on repeat, but they kept us communicating and open with each other. 4 years in, and I see what this person means to me. I want to be a better version of myself now more than ever, thanks to Timmy.

You truly don’t understand what kind of love you’re capable of until you’re tested. And there was test after test after test this year, but the last 6 months seem to have given us a new clarity. We made plans to move forward, separately in order to move us forward together. Does that make sense? I mean, sometimes you have to go on your own path in order to strengthen the partnership. This year, we sacrificed, over-compromised, under-compromised, and now we’ve decided that our best way into the future is to do our own thangs.

We are not breaking up. I repeat, for those that are freaking out or who keep giving us heartfelt lectures on the difficulties of long-distance relationships, we are not breaking up. And please stop. I understand your intentions are nothing but good, but if you truly knew our relationship, you’d understand that we know what is best for us. We are dedicated and still very much in love. And we need this divergent path now for our sanity.

Over the holiday break, I got whooped in the ass by the worst cold I can ever remember having, moved from Lakeland to St. Pete (and not by the movers who no-showed twice!), went home to Atlanta to see family and friends, then started over for the New Year in Orlando. Now that the last 6 months are done, no more weddings, no trips scheduled right now, moving and packing complete, I feel like I can really, truly and completely breathe again.

2014 felt like the restart button for us, in more ways than one. We attended a fancy James Bond-themed party with a no-drama, high-fun crowd and ate our 12 grapes in the last 12 seconds of 2013. A Spanish tradition that my family keeps alive, even when we’re not together, it’s a must-do for me. Timmy and I sneaked our grapes in, and couldn’t stop laughing as we shoveled them in, hoping to get them all down for good luck in 2014.

I cannot be more excited for this year, since professionally I keep kicking ass, and now hopefully the personal side will be better than ever.

This year, I didn’t make any resolutions. I haven’t made any resolutions in years. Everything I’ve ever wanted to improve upon, I work on daily. Sometimes minute by minute, like my patience. I was accepted into a sexual health program that I’ve been wanting to apply to for years now. This year, I’m going to continue to check things off my life list, just like I did last year, and the year before that. If I’m not constantly improving myself, I ain’t happy.

For 2014, now that I have a FIFTEEN MINUTE COMMUTE (omg, I can’t believe I can say that), I feel like, finally, the year of never-ending hardship is coming to a close. Timmy is dedicated to improving himself and working on the issues he feels are important, and I’m going to work on being a better partner by being a better me. Sounds like a plan we can definitely both achieve.

And we must be getting somewhere because just this past weekend, at dinner at our fave restaurant in Winter Park, Timmy looked at me and said, “Your attitude has changed so much since you moved, for the better. And it’s only been like a week!”

Ain’t that the truth.

2014

♥, VB

Updates and Upgrades

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Crazy. Life is totally nutso right now. In a completely good way, though, so don’t think I’m complaining. Big things are potentially in the works, although I can’t really share anything yet. I know, that makes me a huge asshole for dangling some juicy info in your face, and then snatching it away. No one likes those people, the ones who are like, “OOOOOH, I have something to tell you but I can’t tell you.” Apologies.

I partook in one of the funnest bachelorette party weekends over Labor Day weekend for a close girlfriend whose wedding is in two weeks! (What a shock, another wedding to attend!) I know that’s a while back, but honestly I couldn’t really post anything about it or post pictures since the majority of the photos will probably get us all fired from our jobs and brand us ineligible for future jobs. Not that they’re bad or illegal, we’re just being naughty.

“30 Years, 1 Wish” was last Saturday, and I’m feeling a little sad that all of it’s over now. All those months preparing for it, planning, anticipating, ranting and raving at people who couldn’t follow simple instructions, waiting for the big day…all over now. It was one of the most amazing nights of our entire lives, but I’ll be following up with all the pictures and total raised in a later post (sorry, I know I just did that whole, “I have stuff to tell you but not yet thing” again. I couldn’t even make it one more paragraph without doing that, sorry.)

Timmy and I can update you that we’ll be moving soon, but that’s about all I can share (I’M SUCH A DICK!). The short of it: I’m moving to St. Pete and Timmy will be somewhere else. That doesn’t mean we’re splitting up, so don’t freak out people! I just literally can’t take this commute anymore. I spend 12 hours a week on the road. That’s another part-time job. I spend no quality time with him except for the weekends, and that, my friends, does not a relationship make.

I just really really need to be closer to work because I’m involved in so much more here, and will be taking on way more commitments as the year progresses. Not to mention, all the wear and tear on my car from all this driving is hurting my pocketbook, so no means no. And the gas $, oh the humanity. It’s just not fair, I tell you, to spend a rent payment on gas purchases every month. I know I don’t make that much money, but jesus, that’s just torture. So the next few weeks will be spent searching for a new place to live in the St. Pete area. For those of you concerned about me or our relationship status, just think of this move as more new stories for me to share with you.

Finally, I haven’t had a whole lot of time to write any posts because 1) I’ve been waiting for the Women’s Resource Center’s Executive Director to return from vacation in order to total up the funds raised and disperse the checks to the American Indian College Fund and the Colon Cancer Alliance, but mostly 2) I got a new laptop at home and am still learning how to use it. It’s a newfangled contraption that still blows my mind with the upper-level technology it’s got going on.

Why on earth would she spend money on a new laptop when she’s obviously super poor and all that, you’re probably asking yourself. Well, it certainly wasn’t in the plan to get a new laptop mostly because my old laptop was perfect. It was only about two years old, and still was a trustful tech companion. Until one day, I opened my laptop and found a small discoloration on the top left corner of the screen. Surely, I couldn’t have been responsible for that because hello, I take great care of my stuff. And then not even three days later, I opened it again, and found this:

Broken Screen and Broken Dreams

Broken Screen and Broken Dreams

Turns out, Timmy stepped on the corner of my laptop one day, and (un)fortunately cannot remember said accident. But since he’s amazing and generous and a beautiful person, he willingly and of his own accord decided to purchase a new laptop for me, one that integrates all the loveliness that was my old laptop with the newness of a tablet. I give you the Lenovo Yoga.

Laptop now, push the screen all the way back until you get...

Laptop now, push the screen all the way back until you get…

A friggin tablet. Yes, that's right, a laptop that turns into a tablet.

A friggin tablet. Yes, that’s right, a laptop that turns into a tablet.

I feel like one of the coolest kids on the block now. I equate this feeling to what those blacked out figures in the old iPod commercials must have been feeling whilst dancing.

You remember these people, right?

Feeling the groove of happiness

Feeling the groove of happiness

Anyways, that’s what life has been like lately, more or less (actually less since I’ve left out so many details, you’re probably like, “What the hell was the point of this post?”). Stay tuned.

♥, VB

Rainbows

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One thing I find super interesting about living in FL (besides all the crazy news headlines…no seriously, things that happen here are beyond nutso) is the weather. It’s part of what I think creates all the crazy-nutjob people here because one second it’s hot as hell and your clothes are sticking to places that are best left aired out, but then the skies shift in one millisecond and it’s pouring down rain like a monsoon. Then, clear skies, back to your daily routine. What the heck. As though FL isn’t bad enough being just hot in general, now I have to deal with driving home in a torrential hurricane-like downpour on my horrendous commute every day. I mean, I remember being young and coming to FL for summer vacations, Disney, etc, and we inevitably had to buy the Mickey ponchos because the skies would open up in the middle of the day. No poncho and you’re stuck inside one of the Norwegian bars in Epcot indefinitely.

Now, I work 9 hour days, Mon-Thurs, and in turn I get every other Friday off. It’s only for the summer (but could turn into a permanent-ish work schedule), and it has been very nice. One day every two weeks, I don’t have to make this stupid commute. It’s just stupid in every way. But now that it’s rainy season, every evening I drive home in limited visibility, high winds, flying pieces of palm trees, and really challenged drivers. It’s really fun, let me tell you. And Lakeland gets hit every single day. I don’t understand weather patterns and meteorology, but I would have assumed that coastal cities get smacked and then the central parts of the state get the tail-end of storms. But no, that’s not how it works in reality. I see darkness ahead every damn day and let me tell you, after 9 hours, it’s not welcome.

Commutes are always made better by threatening skies, right?

Hour-long commutes are always made better by threatening skies, right?

 

But in honor of Pride month, DOMA struck down by SCOTUS, and the end of Prop8 in California, it has come to light that the storms do produce something pretty awesome: rainbows. Rainbows every single day. I hope they don’t lose their appeal since they happen now all the time. Rainbows still light me up with a child-like wonder about the world and just make me happy. Rainbows = happiness.

A rainbow here...

A rainbow here…

A rainbow there...

A rainbow there…

 

(double) rainbows everywhere!

(double) rainbows everywhere!

And sometimes that’s what this whole move to FL feels like: one big, long, rumbling thunderstorm in the middle of my life. Things haven’t been the greatest here. Things have been effing hard and challenging and really anger-inducing at times. Our relationship has been truly tested and is still being tested. But someday, we’re going to see that rainbow at the end. I mean, I don’t have to wait until “the end” to realize this move was worth it, but gah, a rainbow just makes everything feel lighter and happier, right? And a little lightness and happiness is what we all need, not just for right now, but always. It’s nice to know that although this time in our life is not one of the best, happiest, “I just love everything and you and the world and roses and puppy breath!” phases in our lives, it will be once again.

Thank you, FL rainbows, for reminding me that good exists and it’ll come back around if we just wait the darker times out.

♥, VB

P.S. No one was harmed in the capturing of these rainbows on film. I am not one of these challenged FL drivers and never will be.