An Open Letter to People Who Annoy Me

To Taylor Swift: You are awful. You sing sharp every single time you sing live. Just stop. You’re not that cute anyways. How many blond-haired, blue-eyed, famous skinny females are there? You’re one among a million, not one in a million.

To people who don’t have their order even remotely ready when they get to the front of a line: Honestly, who still does this?!?! Why are you wasting everyone’s time? If you don’t know what you want, move aside. Or better yet, FIGURE IT OUT WHILE YOU’RE WAITING IN THE LINE.

To parents who want to spare their children the embarrassment of braces so you get them Invisalign: Way to set your child up to be the spoiled brat who doesn’t know how to deal with uncomfortable situations in life. Embarrassment comes with the territory of growing older. Horrible clothing choices? Check. Gangly limbs that don’t work right? Check. Perfect teeth? Yea right.

To Kayne West: Ugh, just stop. Everything, just stop. You are terrible. No one cares about your God-complex. You’re not a genius. Geniuses make scientific miracles happen. You rhyme words. Five year olds do that. Enough said.

To people who fad diet and/or cleanse: Have you heard of the Darwin awards? There should be a new one that states: “No Matter How Much Info Is at My Hands, I Will Continue To Do Stupid Things with My Diet Instead of Just Eating Less And Moving More”.

To people who get ass-hurt over every comment ever: Get a tougher hide. No seriously. Stop being so sensitive. Sometimes, things are funny and offensive at the same time, and that’s ok. We don’t have to pass laws and regulate everything and make everyone apologize for everything they say. Just get over it, and move on with your life. You don’t have to like what everyone says, so just keep it moving.

To the Kardashians: I kannot believe how ridiculous you all are. You are vapid and irrelevant. You kould use your fame for something important like spreading awareness of Armenian culture, but instead, you would like to be known for having large asses and no talent for anything beyond shopping and making questionable choices in men. Go away.

To people who use Facebook like it’s Twitter: OMG, I hate you. And so does everyone else. GET A FREAKING TWITTER ACCOUNT ALREADY.

To people who wear seasonally-inappropriate footwear: Do your feet live in a different hemisphere than the rest of your body? Probably not is my guess, so stop wearing UGG boots in hot weather. Stop wearing flip-flops when it’s cold. You look stupid when the rest of you is dressed correctly for the weather, buuuuuut your feet went on vacation somewhere else.

To people who post ridiculously dark and/or blurry photos from your nightlife adventures: No one is jealous of something that only eagles can see. Use your flash, get a better camera, or just stop taking pictures in really dark clubs/bars. It’s dumb.

♥, VB

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