Why I’m the Best Girlfriend in the History of Ever, Reason #401

That title sounds a bit conceited right? Whatever. If Timmy ever decides he would like to participate in our blog and write about things that tickle his fancy, he can also post about what makes him amazing and the best partner in bed the whole wide world. But until then, it’s gonna be me (just like ‘NSync said).

I was in Atlanta last weekend for my dad’s 65th birthday and Mother’s Day. Low-key weekend, nothing really to report. We drank a lot at my dad’s dinner at Capital Grille, and my mom may have screamed something about cutting someone’s balls off REALLY LOUDLY, but my memory of the event is a little fuzzy, so who knows (actually, it was really loud and everyone turned to look at our table, but it was funny, and as we all know, laughs always trump other people’s comfort levels).

On Saturday, my mom and I walked around Virginia Highlands for a bit and window shopped and actual shopped. We stopped into a store that I’d been wanting to go in forever, but seeing as I don’t own a home to decorate, going to a home decor store is always a bit torturous for me. We browsed through pretty shabby chic items until I saw the one. It was the most amazing item I’ve seen in a long, long time. I knew I had to have it, immediately, no matter the cost (that’s a joke, I’m pretty poor, so cost always matters). But I didn’t want it for me. No, no. I needed it for Timmy.

After much anticipation, we finally got to see each other when I came home Sunday evening. I was too tired and hungry to remember the gift, which sat alone and unseen in my suitcase. Monday morning rolled around, and I still forgot it was there. When I got home from work last night, I started to unpack my bags and there it was. The Gift. I got giddy with excitement all over again and waited for Timmy to return from playing with Floyd at our dog park.

AN HOUR LATER, they arrived, sweaty, thirsty, and smelly. It didn’t matter however because it was time. Time to give the gift. I handed the purple bag to him and waited for the reaction of a lifetime. Here’s a picture timeline of how this gift-giving occurred:

Gift in hand, unsure in this unknown territory

Gift in hand, unsure of this unknown territory

Initial reaction is disgust, but waiting for the clouds to part and the light bulb to turn on

Initial reaction is disgust, but waiting for the clouds to part and the light bulb to turn on

realizing the amazingness of this gift and the incredible giving nature of girlfriend simultaneously

realizing the amazingness of this gift and the incredible giving nature of girlfriend simultaneously

disbelief at his luck of receiving the gift, excitement for new, unrealized future hopes and reams

disbelief at his luck of receiving the gift, excitement for new, unrealized future hopes and dreams

Thumbs up and big smiles because life suddenly has meaning because of gift

Thumbs up and big smiles because life suddenly has new meaning since receiving gift

Want to know what kind of gift includes a picture of Borat in his famous swimsuit? This is the gift of a lifetime.

You're seeing that correctly. "Hairy Hunks"

You’re seeing that correctly. “Hairy Hunks”

No, no, Hall & Oates can't go for that.

No, no, Hall & Oates can’t go for that. That being the fact that you don’t already own this book.

And this has been the dramatic photo re-enactment of how Timmy got one of the greatest gifts imaginable and reason #401 of why I’m the best girlfriend in the history of ever.

♥, VB

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