Wanted Now: Patience and Calm

Before we moved, my parents gave us some words of wisdom to live by once we got to Florida. They told us to have patience with each other, the situation, our jobs, with everything because from now on, it was just going to be the two of us. We wouldn’t have the tight knit circle of friends in Lakeland that we did in Atlanta, and even though everyone is just a phone call away, it’s a totally different feeling to be alone without easy access to your social circle.

Boy, this week, we had to remind ourselves of those words of advice about a billion times. This week was a doozy.

We probably picked a fight with each other at least 2x a day, if not more. It was really just one of those weeks in a relationship where everything seems to blow up, no one can keep his/her temper in check, and everything sets you off. I know it’s normal, and every relationship goes through those phases. We have before, but this week felt different, mainly because of the whole isolation thing we’ve got going on here. I spend more than two hours a day in the car going back and forth from work. I’m LOVING my job so don’t get me wrong. This whole commuting thing is super new to me, and it totally sucks driving in the morning with the sun coming up, and driving in the evening with the sun setting. I can’t wait for daylight savings because at least I’ll feel like I have more daytime to do things. So I’ve been exhausted and cranky. Timmy’s been home most of the week, making phone calls and has had no one else to talk to during the day other than Floyd.

Man those two have a beautiful thing going on.

Man those two have a beautiful thing going on.

We haven’t explored anything in the area in three weeks, other than a few trips to our local Applebee’s and a local restaurant to meet up with our one friend here in Lakeland. We turn into hermits on the weekends and all I want to do is sleep the days away. Throw in a menstrual cycle, and that, my friends, is the perfect storm. Honestly, we haven’t tried very hard this week not to jump down each other’s throats and not to lose our shit in two seconds flat. It’s just tiring. But obviously, any relationship that’s worth it takes a lot of work. Not a little. A LOT. You always have to work at a relationship because nothing comes naturally. It’s always a recalibrating of views, a changing of something, in order to find the balance between two people. Because we are so different, we know we’re never going to see the world the same way. Timmy’s a talker and I’m a doer, and sometimes it’s totally amazeballs and sometimes it blows up in our faces. But we had a coming to Jesus talk and have decided that moving forward, we HAVE to remember and apply those words of wisdom from my parents. Not just because we’re isolated here. But because it’s the right thing to do and we should do that within our relationship always, not just for special circumstances like this move. I mean, my parents aren’t just fun and really really ridiculously good looking; they really know what they’re talking about. Having done this more than 3o years ago, moving to this country, not knowing anyone, not having family here, trying to start new jobs, and learn a new language, with just each other to lean on, they know how hard this is. They knew what was going to be waiting for us in FL. And dammit they were so right.

So we had a little date night in Ybor City last night at the Laughing Cat (delish btw!) and have rededicated ourselves to this relationship. Patience and calm. Patience and calm. We plan on repeating those words like the Buddhist mantra in the movie “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” Before you know it, we will have a social circle here and a routine and we will have our favorite beach and restaurant, etc. But until then, we already have about 10 trips booked for Atlanta this year. Plan on seeing us a lot, friends, probably more than you saw us when we actually lived in Decatur.

♥, VB

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2 thoughts on “Wanted Now: Patience and Calm

  1. Congrats on the new mantra. You are both so loved and deserve to be happy, even in boring Lakeland. Hit up a local bar and sit there, waiting for folks to be magnetized to you. Until that happens, PLEASE go to the Columbia restaurant in Ybor, Tampa, etc…. it’s AMAZING! And you have to get the 1905 salad.

    Love you both! Thank you again for coming to join in the birthday festivities 🙂

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